There are tons and tons of posts, articles, podcasts, etc. on how to write a good query letter. For that reason, I'll go through the basics in this post, but I want to focus a bit more time on crafting the best blurb/summary/pitch possible. How you present your book may make or break your chances of getting an agent.
So let's start from the beginning. You've read my post How to Know if Your Manuscript is Ready to Query, so you can confirm that querying is imminent. But how to craft the perfect query?
Queries are typically comprised of 3-4 paragraphs or 250-400 words. (The shorter the better.) The order in which these elements come will vary based on agent preferences, but what I've seen most often is:
Book metadata
Pitch
Personal paragraph
Metadata
The metadata is the details of the book. Here, you list the title, genre, age category, word count, if the book is a standalone or series, if it's multi-POV, and comps. I'll share pieces of my first query letter for reference.
CREATURES OF SHADOW (93,000 words) is a young adult fantasy, descent-into-darkness tale with a planned sequel. It would appeal to readers drawn to in-depth world building like that of Elly Blake (FROSTBLOOD) and readers who connect with a strong, misunderstood female protagonist who owns her power like that of Amelie When Zhao (BLOOD HEIR).
The goal of this section is to introduce the details of your book succinctly. There are a few different methods to do this, but it's important to note this is a paragraph with full sentences. Do not simply bullet-point a list of data. Make it sound like it's coming from a real person. It's okay to make it personable, but keep it professional.
Some general Dos and Don'ts for the metadata:
DO use your own voice.
Your metadata is often the first impression agents get of who you are. How you word your opening can tell them a lot about you. Share the data in a way that sounds true to who you are. It's okay to be yourself.
DON'T open with a question.
I've heard this from many an agent. Opening with a question (especially a yes or no question) is the fastest way to kill a pitch. If they happen to answer "no", they might not keep reading. Rather, open with the information the agent is asking for. Follow their guidelines. That's the most likely way to keep them reading.
DO present proudly.
It's okay to be proud of your work. In fact, if you're not, maybe you should reconsider why you're querying. It's okay to speak like you love your story. You are your best cheerleader, and no one is going to champion your work like you.
DON'T pick the biggest performing books in your category as comps.
This is for a few reasons. Firstly, the chances of anyone's book becoming the next Sarah J Maas or Leigh Bardugo is quite slim. So placing your book on par with these heavy hitters is placing the highest bar on your writing you possibly could. Secondly, agents are looking for where your book fits in the market (i.e., How will they sell and position your book? Is there a place for it?). If you're telling them they need to market your debut book the same way they market Six of Crows, that's a bit of a red flag. Comps also tell agents how familiar you are with the market. Most agents look for titles that have come out in the last five years. If you're comping a book that was popular in 2005, that could be a red flag that you aren't familiar with the current market.
DO research.
Each agent is going to have specifications on how they want the query letter laid out, as well as differences in specific tastes. It's best to tailor your query letter to each agent. One of the easiest ways to do this is to find comps in books they've shared that they love. Pay attention to the details. It goes a long way.
DON'T pick comps based on plot.
Pick your comps based on specific elements. Saying, "My book is like Six of Crows" doesn't tell the agent much about your book. How is it similar? Does it have a heist-y found family? Does it focus on themes of belonging? Those elements are much more compelling and sell your book better. Some things to focus on might be voice, theme, character, tone, allegory, etc. If you still want to comp a book in general, you might phrase it as, "For readers of Leigh Bardugo/Six of Crows."
DON'T present this as the best book they'll ever read.
It's great to be confident about you're writing, but don't open with, "Here is the best book you will ever read." This just sets you up for failure (unless it is the best book they'll ever read, but you better be damn sure). It's similar to comping the biggest titles in the genre. Most times, this claim is an overpromise, and it often turns off more agents than intrigues them. Agents get thousands upon thousands of queries a year. The actual percentage of offers they hand out is quite slim. And the chances that your writing is the best thing they've ever seen is, really, quite subjective.
Pitch
Next comes the pitch. This typically reads like back cover copy. It shouldn't be any more than 350 words (on the high end). This is the first real chance you have to share your story with the agent.
Firstly, let's differentiate a pitch from a synopsis. The pitch is just that: a pitch. It is not a tell-all with spoilers. The synopsis is where you summarize every plot point in the story, including the ending. The pitch is just an opening to hint where the story is going. It's an attempt to reel readers in.
In general, the summary will list only the main characters. This is not the place to share all 25 main characters, side characters, and tertiary characters. Rule of thumb: share your MC's name, the "villain's" name, and maybe a third character. If anyone else comes into play, title them based on how they interact with the MC (e.g., X's dad tells her...).
You also want to include what your MC wants, the inciting incident, and what the stakes are. Here's my pitch:
Caitriona Aesculus, exiled for her power to control life and death, faces a choice: kill the Human that’s found her camp and prove herself ready to join her mentor on his mysterious endeavours, or remain sequestered by him. Chafing under the strict and lonely regime of her exile, Caitriona’s decision is easy and she plans her kill.
But hunting the Human through her forest reveals a threat far greater than her mentor predicted: an evil of swarming shadows, which absorb the life of everything in their path. With one village already massacred, and no help forthcoming from her mentor, Caitriona must join with her enemy, untether her power, and stop the Shadow Maker before there’s nothing left of her home to save.
Let's break this down.
MC: Caitriona Aesculus
Goal: To kill the Human and gain more responsibility
Inciting Incident: Hunting the Human and uncovering the shadow creatures
Stakes: If she doesn't stop the Shadow Maker, her world may cease to exist
All these elements together are what make for an enticing pitch. If any of them are missing, the pitch will fall short. One of the most common query letter problems I see is not including what the stakes are.
Keep in mind that the stakes don't have to be stakes for everyone, they just have to matter to your character. Someone might not care about getting expelled from school, but if your character does, that's a stake for them.
The pitch is how you're marketing your book. It should be indicative of where the story is going. If you're pitching a love story, but that love story dies in the first 20 pages and becomes a revenge plot, that's misleading. It's going to throw off any reader. So be true to your story.
In addition to that, make sure your summary accounts for no more than 1/3 of the book. I recently read a pitch that didn't happen until page 75. The whole opening, I was wondering what story I was reading. It's okay to hint at the main plot (in fact you should), but if that's your pitch, make sure it happens and don't keep your readers waiting for it.
I've seen the classic ending a handful of times: Will X survive? or What will happen to X? Please don't end like this. The reader should be left wondering that ourselves. Using my example above, closing with the stakes leads to the question, "Will Caitriona complete her goal?" I don't have to ask the reader that. Ending with the stakes and a hint at the story trajectory is what's going to prompt agents to read the pages.
In terms of formatting, defer to the agent's wishes (if they have them). I've seen articles stating the characters' names should be bolded or all caps or italicized. This varies based on who you're querying. I typically write them normally unless the agent specifies otherwise. If there are no notes, this type of thing isn't going to make or break your query letter.
A bonus note for multi-POV stories: choose one character to focus on. Sometimes it's okay to have a paragraph each for two POVs, but if you have an ensemble cast with eight characters, there should be one the overarching plot revolves around. When writing a blurb/pitch/summary, the paragraphs should center on them.
Personal Paragraph
The final section is about you. If you have any writing credentials, you definitely want to list them here (so any courses, publications, speaking engagements, etc.). If you don't, don't worry about it! Most agents aren't looking for oodles of writing experience. Their main goal is to get to know you. So here I'm going to share my initial personal para compared to my most recent one.
I’m a resident of Southwestern Ontario, currently working as a marketing specialist and receptionist for a chain of local salons. I’ve been writing any spare moment I get for the past four years, and I schedule regular time for swapping work with critique partners. If I’m not writing, you’ll likely find me singing to myself about melancholy topics or playing with my corgi, Slade. You can learn more about me at www.eawhyte.com.
I first started querying back in 2020 before I had any experience. I was a fledgling critique partner and a voracious writer. Since then, I've grown my experience, and my closing paragraph currently looks like this:
I’m a resident of Southwestern Ontario with a background in marketing, currently freelance editing and working at a local cafe. I coached for The Authors of Tomorrow helping young writers pen their first books from conception to completion, and I was featured on the Merry Writer Podcast discussing how to leverage social media as an author. I've taken courses in grammar, developmental editing, and fiction theory. If I’m not writing, you’ll likely find me practicing latte art, napping, or exploring new local businesses. You can learn more about me at www.eawhyte.com.
A little more substantial, right? And it's totally okay to build out your personal data as you go. In fact, it's recommended. Your query letter doesn't need to be set in stone. You can revise it as many times as you need.
Most agents recommend starting with just a handful of queries to gauge the reception of your letter. Once you have some feedback (or not), you can tailor your query a little better. This will make sure you're putting your best foot forward, in a querying sense.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to include a final sentence indicating how the agent can reach you. Most times, you'll be querying via email or portal anyway, so they'll have a direct line of contact. But just in case, it's helpful to tell them explicitly.
In conclusion, querying is tough. The road is often long. Even the best query letters get overlooked. All you can do is make sure you're representing your story in the best way possible. Get other writers to read your query letter before you send it out. But ultimately, it's luck of the draw.
If you want professional eyes on your query before sending it out, I offer Query Package Edits on my Editing Services page. If the packages don't fit, don't worry! I'm happy to work with you on a custom package. Just shoot me an email or fill out the form and let me know.
I wish you the best of luck in the trenches!
Happy writing,
Erin
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