Dialogue is one of those things that writers either love to write or hate to write, and that makes a lot of sense because writing dialogue—and writing it well—is a difficult skill to master. As a fiction editor, I can tell you that dialogue is a very common thing for writers to struggle with, so if it’s not your favorite part of writing, just know that it’s a skill that can be built upon and improved. In this post, I’m going to discuss some common mistakes that I see and what can be learned from them to make the dialogue in your story more compelling.
What dialogue is not
I think a lot of writers have this misconception that the only way to make dialogue sound natural is to mimic or even copy the cadence and content of real-life conversations. Do not fall victim to this very common, yet very wrong, temptation.
“But Katherine,” you might ask, “can dialogue really be too realistic? After all, wouldn’t replicating real speech make the dialogue more authentic and therefore more compelling?”
And I would tell you no. Replicating real speech is not a one-way ticket to effective and compelling dialogue, though, it would make things much easier!
Here’s the thing. Writing good dialogue is an art. It isn’t how people talk, contrary to popular belief, nor should it be. Every line of dialogue should be actively pushing the plot forward. If authors wrote exactly the way people spoke, I don’t think anyone would read books!
Let’s take a look at a real conversation I had with my spouse the other day:
Me: “I’m going to take the dogs for a walk. Do you want to come?” Spouse: “I guess.” Me: “I’m okay going by myself if you don’t want to.” Spouse: “No, I should probably have some physical activity today.” Me: “Okay. Short walk or long walk?” Spouse: “We can do a longer one.”
Okay, so maybe this is a bit of an extreme example, but it still demonstrates my point, which is that it’s boring. It feels more like you’re a guest in my house, listening to a mundane, everyday conversation. There is no place for moments like this one in a novel. If there are any scenes in your book that feel like this, you should take another look. If there’s no tension and no stakes, there is nothing to push the plot forward, meaning there is nothing there that will keep your reader reading.
Filler words and pleasantries like saying hello when answering the phone or thanking a waiter for delivering a plate of food are usually cut in novels, and even TV shows, unless it has a very specific purpose. Every word counts. Literally. Each and every line of dialogue in a story should be pushing the plot forward. If it isn’t, I recommend cutting it.
So, how do we make dialogue authentic without replicating real speech? Let’s consider contractions, for instance. We love to use them in speech and writing because they save time. Just look at how many I’ve used in this blog post alone! I don’t know of a single person who speaks in grammatically correct sentences, not even us editors! Don’t be afraid to utilize clipped speech, sentence fragments, and run-on sentences. Think about the situation your characters are currently in and how they might speak in that situation. For instance, if two of your characters are jogging together, the dialogue might be written something like this:
“I think…I’m…getting…a side cramp,” Pam said, clutching her waist as she jogged. “Oh no,” Jim replied, panting hard. “Should we…stop for a…water break?”
Or maybe one of your characters is panicking about something. That could look something like this:
“If Kendall can’t help me bake all of these cupcakes, I’m never going to meet this catering deadline, and then the bride and groom are going to be angry because I ruined their wedding day and then they’ll leave me a bad review about how I’m unreliable, and then I’m going to start losing business, and then I’m going to lose the bakery, and the—” “Scott, Scott. Just take a deep breath for a minute,” Kim says.
We interrupt one another, too, just as Kim interrupts Scott in the example above. We dodge questions we don’t want to answer, we utilize subtext often, and we build upon what someone else is saying. Let your characters do these things in scenes as well. Using the quirks and mannerisms found in real speech is a great way to start creating dialogue that feels like real speech while not mimicking it entirely.
Sometimes writers like to use dialogue as a way to fill in details on past events in a character’s life. Resist this temptation. If the characters all know something, why are they explaining it to each other? That is exactly the kind of info dumping that waves a little flag to the reader that says “Hey, this is for your benefit, not the characters’!” A good way to identify info-dump dialogue (as I refer to it) is to look for sentences that start with “Remember when…” or “Like that time…”
Another common mistake I see in dialogue is Ping-Pong dialogue which, nearly every time, leads to the talking heads phenomenon. Ping-Pong dialogue is exactly what it sounds like: two characters talking back and forth with no exposition or description of any kind to break it up. This separates the reader from the story, ultimately breaking their immersion.
Here’s an example:
“Have you seen David?” Alexis asks. “No, I haven’t,” Ted says. "Well, he was supposed to meet me here an hour ago.” “That’s weird. He’s not usually late.” “I know, I’m starting to get worried.”
See what I mean? There are no setting descriptions, no mention of anything happening around these characters, and no descriptions of the characters themselves. All the reader is able to picture here are two floating heads talking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…You get the idea. Sometimes there is a dialogue tag thrown in, but that isn’t enough to fix the problem. If you find this taking place in your own manuscript, try adding in nonverbal cues (nodding, hand gestures, facial expressions, etc.) and descriptions of what is happening in the environment around the characters. Let’s take a look at the same lines of dialogue that were revised to fix the Ping-Pong problem.
Alexis’s head snaps up as Ted walks over to her booth. “Have you seen David?” she asks. Ted shakes his head and slides into the booth across from her. A waitress whizzes past them with a tray full of steaming food. “Well, he was supposed to meet me here an hour ago.” Ted’s brows pull together. “That’s weird. He’s not usually late.” “I know, I’m starting to get worried,” Alexis says, picking at the ends of her hair.
See the difference? Breaking up dialogue, even just a little bit, can make a big impact on reader immersion. And don’t be afraid to use subtext. Real people and book characters don’t always say exactly what they mean! Let the reader do some of the work.
What Dialogue really is
It might help if you stop thinking about dialogue as a conversation, but rather as something else entirely. Think about dialogue in terms of characterization. If written well, your dialogue should be telling readers how a character is feeling in a scene, who they are as a person, and what they want out of the interaction. That last one is especially important. Each character should want something out of every conversation they have in a book. If they don’t want something, why are they speaking at all?
Ensuring you include all of these things in every line of dialogue might seem like an impossible task, but it might help if you break it down by scene as you revise, and focus on each character one at a time. Concentrate on:
What the character is feeling in the scene. A lot of times, the way characters (and people for that matter) speak can tell us a lot about the kind of mood they’re in. Keep in mind that this is something that applies to all characters, not just the point of view character. Think clipped speech or swearing if they’re angry, stuttering if they’re scared, or run-on sentences if they’re anxious.
The character’s voice. Have you ever read a book where you couldn’t tell which character was speaking without the help of a dialogue tag? Each character’s voice in a novel should be unique, just as every writer’s voice is unique. How a person speaks can tell a reader volumes about who they are as a person. If you struggle with character voice, try assigning a real person in your life to each of your characters (i.e., your boss, a family member, a neighbor, etc.) and think about how that person might respond in a scene.
What the character wants out of the interaction. Every character should come into a scene of dialogue with a goal in mind. They should want to get something out of it, even if that something is as basic as ending a conversation with their annoying roommate who never seems to stop talking so they can finally go to sleep.
Said is NOT dead
How many times have you seen or heard someone say “said is dead?” If you’re anything like me, you’ve heard it a lot. Heck, I was even told this in a beginner creative writing course in college! Well, unlike some, I believe that said is alive and thriving. Here’s why.
The reader’s focus should be on the dialogue, not the tags. Think about it. If you use an unusual dialogue tag, or combine the tag with an adverb, you could be directing the reader’s focus to the tag instead of what your character just said. This is especially true if you’re prone to using unusual dialogue tags. Sometimes, it’s best to stick to the classic verbs of utterance—said, asked, and maybe whispered if you’re feeling a bit adventurous—and focus more on the content of your dialogue.
I also advise writers to avoid using the following words as dialogue tags that are commonly confused as verbs of utterance: smile, gasp, groan, breathe, sigh, and laugh. At their core, dialogue tags exist to identify the speaker. They don’t need to be anything fancy to serve their purpose.
Hopefully this leaves you a little more confident about writing compelling dialogue. One final tip I have for you is to try reading your dialogue out loud. I like to recommend this technique for revising in general because it helps you catch errors you might otherwise miss, but it’s also a great tool to identify clunky and awkward dialogue.
Happy writing! You’ve got this!
Bio
Hi! I’m Katie, a freelance fiction editor and the owner of Oak Moss Editorial LLC. As an editor, I’m here to preserve your voice and your vision, not stomp on your creativity. I believe in a collaborative editing process to help make your writing the best that it can be!
When I’m not editing you can find me curled up on the couch with a good book, hiking with my partner and our two dogs, or watering my hundreds of houseplants—all right, fine, that was an overexaggeration, but I have a lot of them, okay? And it takes a really long time to water all of them because I refuse to use anything other than a mason jar to get the job done.
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